so i was self-checking out at the grocery store and this comely stranger and I had been flirting a bit, and after they had finished checking out they went
" I DON’T HAVE FLOWERS TO GIVE YOU BUT I WISH I DID BUT HERE HAVE THIS."
AND THEY JUST GAVE ME A HEAD OF BROCCOLLI.
Guess who’s got a daaaaate
MY BROTHER TEXTED A RADIO STATION TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT AND THE RADIO STATION ACTUALLY READ IT OUT AND IT WAS “GREAT DAY AT THE BEACH WITH MY GIRL FROM HEYWOOD JABLOMI” AND THEY READ IT ALOUD AND THE ENTIRE RADIO WENT DEAD FOR A FEW SECONDS BECAUSE THEY REALIZED WHAT THEY SAID I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD